Roll With It

In my Foodies Journey, I have come across food of all shapes & sizes, consistencies & textures.  Most of the food I have had, I normally enjoy but, every so often I come across something that is just not right.  Even if the item tastes good, if it has that one thing that makes it just not right, it normally ruins the entire product.  This weekend, I came across an item with the worst texture ever.  Ever.  Ever.  I tried my best to eat it but let me tell you, I just could not Roll With It.

I am a fan of all things Kashi.  I have never come across anything that I don’t like from these folks.  Well, that was until I tried the Kashi Go Lean Chocolate Peanut Butter Roll on Sunday.  Without a question in my mind, this bar was horrible and I will never, ever eat one again.  Up until this weekend, I have never seen these bars sold in anything other than boxes.  I happened to run across an individual bar and decided to grab it and try it.  On Sunday, while everyone was still sleeping, I whipped it out to try.  If only I would have known I would be soon be eating the worst textured food ever, I would have ran for the hills.

I opened up the bar and found it to look pretty similar to the photo on the package.  Small pieces of peanuts covered the entire bar.  I tried to break the bar in half and had a crazy hard time.  This should have been my first warning.  The very center of the bar is the peanut butter mixture which is then covered with chocolate and rolled in the peanut pieces.  Let’s begin with the texture since this pretty much dominated all.

The texture/consistency is absolutely disgusting.  Horrible.  Gross.  Nasty.  Puke.  Blah.  This texture/consistency should have never been created.

I don’t think words can quite describe just how horrible the consistency was.  It was beyond chewy and hard.  Even when chewing really hard, it was nearly impossible to actually chew and eat this roll.  Beyond the fact that the roll was impossible to chew, the exterior peanuts had a chalky consistency to them.  The chocolate layer and the peanut butter was so so so so so chewy that it seemed like I was eating really hard caramel.  Ugh.  And we haven’t even begun to discuss the flavors.

Imagine to yourself the taste of just nasty diet food and you should begin to understand what this roll tasted like.  In addition to the chalky consistency to the exterior peanuts, the taste of them was just as chalky.  If I was blindfolded, I would have had no idea these were peanuts.  The outside layer of chocolate did not have any chocolate flavor whatsoever.  No taste of cocoa, no taste of cocoa butter, no taste of anything chocolate related.  It really had no flavor.  But, you know what it did have?  A nasty consistency.  The interior peanut butter filling was kinda like peanut butter flavor but nothing that would have told me hands down, that it was peanut butter.  The taste was faint and just trying to stay around.

Perhaps this roll had more flavors and tastes than I am giving it credit for but, I really just can’t say.  The roll’s horrible consistency just simply ruined it for me.  I struggled through each and every bite of this roll.  My jaw felt as if it might simply fall right off from trying so hard to chew the roll.  It wasn’t just that it was chewy, it was that it was nearly impossible to eat.  I even thought that perhaps this roll was expired but, after review of the expiration date, I found it to be ‘good.’  Ha.  Good.

Maybe it was a sign that I had never been able to find these rolls prior to this weekend.  Just think, if I would have never found it, I would have never been subjected to the jaw-hurting experience that is the Kashi Go Lean Chocolate Peanut Butter Roll.  I don’t like to waste food (just ask my family…I eat someone’s leftovers all the time) so I battled through this Roll.  My thought was that perhaps it would get better but, it just didn’t.  Whatever you do, stay far away from this Roll.  Do not, unless you jaw pain & your mouth gross-ness, purchase/eat this Roll.  Do not and I repeat Do Not, Roll With It.

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